Messages for my life

20th of March – Florida

The month can’t end without me at least mentioning this state once.

I thank my Heavenly Father, for the treasures I have found in this state.

The first person who I opened up to about my struggle with homosexuality or same sex attraction – in other words, the first person I came out to – came from this state. I didn’t plan on it, it just came out like word vomit. I remember I was tired of holding it in and I just had to get it out there and I didn’t care what the repercussions would or could have been. Thankfully God had everything under control and led the whole moment.

The guys who helped me understand what a healthy friendship looked like and how it worked came from this state. Boy! did they have to deal with my mess lol
They were patient and kind. They took the time to understand my thought process and then they helped me to realize where my mistakes were and they helped me fix them. I am a very emotional guy, and my thought process was more similar to that of a girl than a guy, so what I felt and how I expressed it was in a way that some of the guys had a hard time dealing with.  Those with SSA can relate to this situations. There were a few times where they had to use a bit of tough love and I am glad they did. I thank Abba for them every day.

The person who the Holy Spirit used to stop me from committing one of the biggest mistakes of my life is found in this state. During one of my trips to Miami, Fl, for a youth event, I got caught up in a very deep pit of depression. I knew I was sinking, but I didn’t ask for help. I just wanted to give up on life. I remember I was walking on the sidewalk in front of our church and I made up my mind I would walk till nightfall and then figure out what to do. Up until then, I had only ever been to that one part of Miami, so I had no idea where I would end up. I just knew I was going to run away, not leave a note or tell anyone. I was going to find a “safe house” and ask for help, make up some story of why I ran away from home.  Part of me was trying to yell for help because what I was thinking of doing was crazy however I had lost control of myself. I was beginning to walk and out of nowhere, I hear someone yell out to me from across the street. I looked over and it was Adlai, she waved and told me to cross the street. I don’t know where the strength came – it could have only been God – I somehow made it across. I’ve always hated crossing that street, I always felt like a car would run me over lol … nevertheless, I made it over without thinking about it twice. The moment I was next to her the cloud of doom and gloom began to dissipate, I felt like I was breathing again like I had come up from being underwater. Whatever plan the enemy had laid out for me that day was obliterated because someone took the time to say hello. I can’t ever thank the Holy Spirit enough or repay them for what they did for me that day.

I also have quite a few female friends in this state. They are all special and unique. Can’t forget to mention them or some of them will stone me and give me the evil eye. haha … You know who you are! thank you for being there for me and helping me on my path to finding myself. I couldn’t have gotten this far without your crazy stories that have made me laugh at life. You are my partners at the events whenever we have to be social but we don’t have the energy to be.

One drawback about Florida though is that it has robbed me of some of my closest friends. I can’t deal…. but I guess it balances out with all that I have received from that land.

like my new (not so new anymore) Pastor who came from that land. I and our congregation have been very blessed to have him amongst us. (is that grammatically incorrect? the placement of the I?!?!) His family has also been a blessing in my life. Although at first, I was highly upset with the changes made especially since no one talked to me first before making the decision lol ……. I am now at peace with the changes and I guess them coming from Florida has helped.

Well enough writing for today. Be blessed! Smile and laugh, just do it in a proper manner you never know who be watching lol

God bless you all!

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